Your wedding is not for your parents. It’s not for your best friend, or best man. It’s not for your grandmother, though you may wear her jewelry or her veil. Your wedding is for you and your beloved, only. It may not feel like that, but it’s true.

As soon as you start planning a wedding everyone has their own idea of what’s best for you, what kind of food you should eat, what music should be played or what traditions you must include. But the only thing that matters is what you want. Your family’s expectations may be hard to navigate, but at the end of it all is a ceremony with you both standing together. The day should be a reflection of your values as a new family. Use the planning process to really figure out what’s important to you. Respectfully ignore the multitude of opinions and: wear a short dress, rent a photo booth, dance your first dance to a hip hop tune, ride off on an elephant, cut all your hair off the week before, get matching wedding tattoos, or hire a taco truck for dinner. It is your day and your memories matter more than anyone else’s.